TheMachThe Surreal round
June 12th 2008 20:51
What a strange surreal week it has been in footy. Mark Harvey, the Fremantle Coach assures us in his post match press conference, (or post mortem as they like to refer them in `Trio) that beware of `Trio as they are dangerous. On the surface what Harvey says is almost innane, cosidering `Trio have now added being in front at quarter time and losing as part of their fear factor, in addition to the fact that they have blown more three quarter time leads than Sam Newman has had bad public relations moments. Ignoring the blown three quarter time leads, the ill discipline of key players, the poor clutch kicking of Matthew "I can`t carry this mob anymore" Pavlich, that the team are a basket case, and possibly now the Coach can fall under that description. Perhaps all these factors suggest that `Trio are such a threat to themselves that conversely in some surreal `Trio/Harvey logic, that they subsequenty pose a threat to others, notably North Melbourne who get the bye this week and are off to Subiaco for some R&R. Sure it`s hard to follow, but it was Surreal week, imagine how the journos at the press conference at the Gabba felt as Harvey pleaded to be accepted as dangerous, you could feel the cringing in their pens as they wrote.
It gets better, in the surreal sense of course, down at Punt Road Terry Wallace reckons that Richmond are too emotional, and Matthew Richardson particularly so, because of carrying a sore knee, how about Richo`s emotion stems from the Tigers are more house tabby than feline of the Savannah, and poor old Richo has had it with another Coach who can`t get a game plan to work consistently or teammates who either can`t get the footy to him on time or just can`t get it to him efficiently.
Richo`s old comrade down at the Bombers Matthew Kitchener, reckons everyone is too emotional in expecting Matthew Lloyd to kick bags of goals on a weekly basis. Last Saturday at the other end Buddy kicks 9 against the Bombers and adds to his weekly tally of bags. Of course unlike Lloydy Buddy is getting the ball from a team with a game plan, and no one knows the value of a game plan better than Kitchener, as he clearly would love one that lasts for four quarters.
At least Buddy need not worry about his off field issues now that he has Wayne "The Duck" Carey to provide counsel on how to avoid off field infamy. The Duck astutely has suggested in the Herald Sun that life for Buddy will get harder from here on in and he would be better off to just lock himself in a padded room. Sound counsel indeed! Oh The Duck did also say something about not grabbing strangers of the female variety by the breast randomly, not rooting your best mate`s wife and not spening two days on a drink and drug binge with someone of equal emotional instability. I am not sure how he gets the psuedonym The Duck, it could be linked to what he he does everytime his drinking partner picks up a glass. Ah yes there was one other piece of advice for Buddy, surround yourself with people who will tell you to pull your f*****g head in.
Now if they are too busy to keep Buddy in check down at Waverley, they could always request some input from Peroxide Oracle out at Footscray, Aker in his column in the Herald sun this week went to great lengths to illustrate the great sense of perspective and empathy he posess`, he describes how busy and demanding the life of a footballer is nowadays. Apparently way back footballers used to train and play, but you would`nt believe it now they have go to meetings, do extra training, attend functions and all this for a few hundred grand a year, in fairness to Aker he did not mention the hardest part for the modern footballer, when they step out into the garage each morning and have to decide whether they should take the BMW, the Mercedes or the Harley to "work" today
No worries for the Hawks then with Buddy and life skills, if in any doubt on direction Aker and The Duck are always ready to help.
Richo`s old comrade down at the Bombers Matthew Kitchener, reckons everyone is too emotional in expecting Matthew Lloyd to kick bags of goals on a weekly basis. Last Saturday at the other end Buddy kicks 9 against the Bombers and adds to his weekly tally of bags. Of course unlike Lloydy Buddy is getting the ball from a team with a game plan, and no one knows the value of a game plan better than Kitchener, as he clearly would love one that lasts for four quarters.
Now if they are too busy to keep Buddy in check down at Waverley, they could always request some input from Peroxide Oracle out at Footscray, Aker in his column in the Herald sun this week went to great lengths to illustrate the great sense of perspective and empathy he posess`, he describes how busy and demanding the life of a footballer is nowadays. Apparently way back footballers used to train and play, but you would`nt believe it now they have go to meetings, do extra training, attend functions and all this for a few hundred grand a year, in fairness to Aker he did not mention the hardest part for the modern footballer, when they step out into the garage each morning and have to decide whether they should take the BMW, the Mercedes or the Harley to "work" today
No worries for the Hawks then with Buddy and life skills, if in any doubt on direction Aker and The Duck are always ready to help.
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